Hotel for Dummies

Hotel Check-in 101

This is just a quick review on how to check -in to your hotel.

First go to the counter and state your last name. Thats all we need. Not your first and middle name or your maiden name. Quite frankly we don’t care! Once the clerk has pulled up your reservation, give them your credit card. Yes, we need a form of payment or you don’t stay. Just because you gave a number to reserve the room doesn’t mean its paid for. Let the clerk take it from there. Let’s not make this more complicated than it has to be. I will then give you your room keys and a registration card for you to sign. Yes, sign. If you wanna know what you are signing then read it. Its not a book, just a paragraph. And no I dont care what kind of car you are driving or where you park it. So dont write what kind of car you have. You are only waisting my time. Time I could be using to finish my homework or browsing the internet. Now go to your room and leave me alone for the rest of the night. Only call me if there is an emergency or you need a wake up call. Just because you are spoiled everywhere else you go doesnt mean Im gonna do it for you here. Now have a nice stay.

Sharing is Caring

Hotels have put business centers in for the convenience of the guest. This is used for printing boarding passes, checking email, you know, quick things.

Hows a lady gonna sit in my business center and refuse to get out for other guests? How inconsiderate. The world doesn’t revolve around you! Get a freakin grip!

She has 8 minutes left before I start charging her ass extra!

Don’t feed the animals!

Bless the guest that bring me food! But if you keep it up I am going to gain about 50lbs! Its bad enough all the pizza  joints give us food but you too. What happened to a good ol’ fashioned tip?